Wants, it sounds like your self-talk is working. You seemed to reason out your excuses well. Maybe at this point it's a matter of putting one foot in front of the other while you continue to tell yourself "this is what I want to do. I know I will enjoy myself once I get there." It seems that this is what you were thinking, but you couldn't get your feet to move.
SBD
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 "It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.
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