So I'm here. Which is hard for me. I'm schizoaffective with bipolar fyi. My grandmother is dying and my mother has BPD which triggers me like no tomorrow and she has been in my face calling several times a day overloading me and now she is ignoring me because I'm not responding to this situation how she thinks I should, throw in about 8 guilt trips. My problem is that I've caught myself right as I'm entering a self destructive phase and I'm trying to stop myself from going any further. I tend to pull emotional pain into my life so I don't have to feel anything else because I don't know what to do with emotions.
I haven't done anything irreversible yet. I can't really ask for help from my friends, even though they love me through my weirdness, they just don't understand and my family spends all their time trying to decide if mental disorders are actually real or not so..
I have fought so hard to be where I am and independent and that is still a far cry from normal but I don't think I can take a backslide along with everything else going on.

Thoughts? Advice? I'm not sure what I am looking for but I gotta try something, right?