WANTS, have you been reading my mail? Can you imagine the agony that I was in at my photography show opening? I alternated between thinking I could slit my throat with my truck key or feeling like I was going to bolt.......

It's depression, it's lack of self-esteem, it's because we aren't "out" there now the way we used to be. We used to be "social" and now I'm lucky to have my morning coffee with the cats watching.

I sympathize more than you can know. I am invited to a huge party, Saturday night, 20 miles from here and you know darned good and well that I'm not going. I'm scared to......... love you much.

I know one that for sure. When I lost my contact, by moving, with all of my fellow Indians, it took a lot of confidence out of me. I was a part of a huge, huge group of people and it went without saving that their love and friendship was unconditional. If you only knew what I'd give to go to a powwow. a rodeo. Alas, Texas is probably the worst state for that. I can't even FIND an Indian here......