Growing up and then until my Daddy died, the fourth was our biggest holiday.

So, when I moved in with my mother, the celebrations were still going on. BUT, with a huge difference. My sisters took turns hosting them. I lived there three years and it was never, ever mentioned that Colleen and I could host one at the HOMESTEAD. What that would have meant to all of the kids, nieces and nephews, is unfathomable. They all mentioned it to us and hoped we'd get to host one year.

My oldest sister has a big family and except for the year my BIL died and Colleen and I took over and did ALL of the work for the funeral, they've never even acted like my family exists. It was a huge deal to them when we did all of the work, cooked all of the food, served all of them, made them laugh and cry and in general, we made a really good day out of it for them. They talked about it for weeks.

We have never been invited to any of their homes, except for the niece that lives right near the ranch. When the day was over, we were so excited....we envisioned dinners together, softball, activities, etc.

Then when one of them turned to drugs, who did they call to come down and make all of the arrangements for his committal? Yup, the Therapist in the family. Yet, when they had portraits made for their Christmases, etc.....did they call the professional photographer in the family? No. They went to Sears.

When we made beautiful jewelry to sell at local craft shows and I packaged up photographs to send away that people had ordered from me, were they complimentary? Here is what my evil sister said...."I can't believe that anyone would spend $125 on a picture of some old dinettes......

So, I'm hurting today. I miss my parents horribly and I know I won't get a call. It's just like all the years that I was in New Mexico and Lawton. It was too far for them to drive, but, Pat would you leave your bed and breakfast and come stay a month and care for Mom and Dad??????

And while you're here, would you pay for air conditioning, food, clothes, linens, etc. They always had a list. And the bad thing was that Mom had to have all of that stuff or suffer. They fed her a can of Vienna sausage for dinner each night!!!!!!! No vegetables, no A/C (my mom had plenty of money for those necessities) no comfortable recliner, etc. My daddy died five years before my mom did. It almost killed her and it hurt him so much to go before her. He saw the handwriting on the wall, and talked to me about , concerning the care that my sisters doled out.

The sister next to me and my brother have three times the money that I had then.

When she died, they were overjoyed with how much money was left in her account to divide amongst us. I almost threw up........

I guess I need some loving and family vibes today.........xoxoxo pat