it's weird, because until she said that yesterday, I thought she thought I was bpd. then yesterday she challenged that...

I'm glad your t is patient with the sh... I've always found it more helpful to have someone be patient around it with me, and help maintain my personal freedom around it. I always struggled more if they wanted to force me to stop... It's kinda like having ice cream and chocolate around all the time so I can choose when/if I want any. If it's ever out of the house for too long, I binge on it for days on end when I finally get my hands on some. It's been the same with the sh. If I can feel free to engage in it as needed (without guilt or fear of repercussions), I do it a lot less than if I am told I can't, then suddenly have the opportunity.