I haven't been following you story, so I can give you only a general reaction.

People who have been abused in some way by their parents are often both attracted and repelled by others who remind them of those parents. This is especially likely with therapists.

It is a double-edged sword. It is good if it allows you to transfer those feelings to your T and work them out. But until the feelings are worked out, it feels like hell.

If I had my time over again, I would avoid therapists I feel strongly about and stick to neutrals.