It is sad that you are in such a terrible place right now.

Out of all the psychologists that you saw, was there a main theme of their observations of you? It does look, on the surface, as though you are "playing the therapist" with what you want to try and what kind of help you want. That's unfortunate and can occur when you've been to so many, as you have.

I agree that if people could change on their own, they would. Many people do...make their own changes...but many need assistance.

Can you call that one therapist and ask what she meant by your playing therapies? I have an idea of what they mean, but that might give you some insight as to how you are "coming across" to the therapists.

Finances are always part of the mix, and one can never tell when they are a deciding factor on the part of the therapist, except we all know they can't make a living working for free.

You don't have to tell me, or list anything here... but maybe if you make, or update if you have already, a list of what in your life you want to change? If it's certain feelings or issues or situations...write those down. That can give you a foundation for finding help. You might be scaring a not-so-well-trained or experienced therapist away. If you can single it down to one or two issues (they might be connected ) and ask for help with those, focus on those and follow how the T leads you...then once that relationship is built, the other stuff will arise, I'm sure.