I have a lot of emotions in between sessions and realize a lot. I wish I didn't have to wait so long to see my T. Ready to tell her. And, then a few days/hours before I think to myself how ridiculous all of this is. I shouldn't see her as a motherly figure and I shouldn't want so much from her. I guess I feel childish about it all? Which tells me it's coming from my inner child. But, it makes opening up in the beginning difficult because I'm minimizing my feelings. We talked about it once (she pointed it out) but it's been a long time ago.

I guess I have a difficult time accepting my feelings. Any ideas about how to get past it? A year later it's still hard.

I do write everything down I can remember after my sessions. but, T. and I are figuring out that I don't remember everything she tells me. I tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive things she says. Yikes. So, my journal might not be realistic. I have also gone through and highlighted the positive remarks she has made. It has helped.