Everyone and their dog is talking about who they know that can be described as narcissistic. Borderline is another buzzword amongst amateur shrinks. What difference does it make to slap this or that label on to someone? How is that helpful? Leave diagnosing to diagnosticians (as in M.D.s.)

Your concern is your daughters whom you love. If they are currently being treated badly, then figure iut what you can do about that.

I know some people believe that by putting a label on a person they are better understanding the person. I fail to see how. Concentrate on the behavior and what should or can be done about it. Behavior is wrong when it unfairly impacts other people. Maybe your daughters need affirmation that they are sometimes treated unfairly by their mother, if that is the case.

I heard a very eminent psychiatrist say, in response to a question I asked, that it can take a doctor 5 years to confidently differentiate between mood disorders and personality disorders in a patient.

The name of the game today seems to be - if you don't like someone and there has been ugliness between you and this person, then start describing to others how this person is a narcissist, or a sociopath, or has borderline personality disorder. Then ask who you're talking to if they don't see it the same way. If they don't, then try to think up more negative stuff to build your case.

After getting divorced, it's pretty normal for people to start seeing each other in a bad light with lots of faults that they were once oblivious to. As you say, "something was off," so now you are divorced and don't have to put up with each other anymore. Spend quality time with your girls and be supportive of them.