Thanks ((((skybark))))
I'd rather have a lable then not have one. For a year no one knew what was wrong with me until my family doctor said that I likely have anxiety, and then sent me to my psychiarist that i'm currently with and have been for 8 yrs and counting.
She is a great T, she is pushing me to do things, and if I didn't get the push i'd continue to be stuck, but it doesn't make it easy to do still. I'm dreading my appt tomorrow

because I haven't done what I was supposed to do 2 weeks ago.
I'm ok with having to deal with this forever, I know that I might have too same with depression and anxiety and I can still live a normal happy life, a life that I want.. but getting it is hard.