Yes I agree again that the N word gets thrown around way too much and I fall in that trap some. Hell 3 years ago I didn't know what it meant other than some stud or chuck priming in front of a mirror all day. All these disorders overlap, intermix, and sound the same, I have noticed that. About the girls, my daughters. Well they talk to me about things easier than their mother, I tend to engage more. They think she is way too strict and before that gets a response, our girls behave very very well. The mother seems to show more attention or preference to the out going sports star daughter. So this causes some competition issues. The daughter that gets left out says she hates the mother. The mother seems to let her new husband get by with things I would have never done or thought of. Nothing bad but he can play Xbox and not help much and he is perfect. I was always busy with work or helping with the girls or helping with our chores. The mother is not abusive but hard, cold and emotionally detached. Kinda like a moderate tiger mom. The smacking to the face I understand is not seen as abuse by some, but I have never seen the girls ever do anything close to needing a smack in the face. I have spanked a few times when they were younger but with a diaper or pants on and very lightly, gentle. I was belted when I was a kid, with a bruise and bled couple of times. They are leary of her some, and complain that she is hard to please and nothing seems to be right, soon enough, or not her way. She is a emotional robot like her parents, and I see why and don't want my girls to be like that. I am not trying to run her down really at all. I have been criticized some for giving her too much benefit of doubt some. I think some of my problem is I did my very best and didn't see some of this while married and only noticed it more when my girls started to point things out. Again not blaming her for everything. But I have learned that if you are raised by abusive neglectful parents you are oblivious or attracted to the same traits in a partner sometimes and not aware of what is really going on, it is normal to you. Heck I don't know. Sorry getting sleepy and probably babbling here. But people do make comments about her in neutral somewhat negative tone.
The girls love her but notice things are out of wacky in ways.