I don't think it's sad that you're having a drink ... all things in moderation - you don't do this often - so why not, just let your hair down or so to speak...

You've had a hell of alot going on recently, some pretty turmulous stuff, you deserve a break, well, that would be nice in reality, but if you get to sit and relax with a drink for a while, so be it.

The unfortunate reality is, that this is not the outcome for you.

You haven't been able to relax, and there are a number of reasons that I can think of that have caused this, based on what you have posted in the past and said in this thread. And it hasn't left you feeling relaxed, it's left you feeling drunk.

I don't know much about the benzo brand that you're on (I've only ever been on Valium) ... but I do know, based on what you've stated, you've taken way more than your prescribed dose.

The problem that it creates for you is this:

You already feel anxious / depressed

You've had a drink ... mixed it with benzos = downers = cry = depression feels worse.

So it's not so much that the drink that was the problem, but it's coupled with everything else going on around it that's now created the issue - the only issue is: it's made you feel worse, not better.

I really wish that this wasn't the outcome.

You deserve to be happy

I'm sorry that this happened to you tonight.

We care about you