Like many, I went for years undiagnosed and misdiagnosed for bipolar (about 20 years from when I first sought help... I think I've seen the average as 16?) I only went to doctors, both family practice and psychiatrists, when I felt down and depressed. They always would read questions off that standard battery they give for depression (Do you every have thoughts of killing yourself? Do you cry for no reason? Have you lost interest in activities you used to find enjoyable, etc., those type of questions.) Most of they time I was diagnosed with mild or moderate depression and prescribed lifestyle changes and talk therapy, and/or an antidepressant (those, naturally, made me bat-**** crazy, of course, and made me lose all faith in psychiatrists as you can imagine). Of course, I never went to a doctor when I was hypermanic or manic, nor did I go when I was severely depressed because then I wouldn't have been able to get out of the house. Heck, I couldn't even get out of bed in those times.

My perception has always been that bipolar depression tends much more toward severely decreased energy and mood, versus extreme sadness. I recently said that to my Pdoc, saying that those batteries that they used to give me were so ineffective at diagnosing anything real that was going on. He responded, "that's why I don't give them."

I am sure we have a range of experiences and was wondering what the experiences of others have been. If you could state 3-4 characteristics of your depressed states what would they be?

For me they would be:
1. extreme tiredness/lethargy/loss of energy
examples: feeling like a rock is on me, collapsing after work week and staying in bed all weekend to recover, just staying in bed in general

2. inability to get anything done/cannot face normal tasks
examples: all paperwork and bills piling up, doing no housework whatsoever, flunking out of grad classes because of completely stopping coursework, not getting dressed or showering

3. not wanting to be around people/deal with social interactions of any sort
examples: not leaving the house except for work, calling in sick to work often, not returning emails or phone calls, avoiding friends & family

I have actually never had thoughts of death when I feel depressed because I barely have thoughts of anything nor can I concentrate. That's not to say suicidal thoughts have not been a part of my bipolar, they have. I've experienced them, however, when in a dysphoric/mixed state. I'm not usually tearful when truly depressed, either. It's almost as though crying would take too much energy or effort. Tearfulness is more of a "coming down" from a manic state thing for me-- an anxiety type symptom where my thoughts are still racing around.

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