Hey! I hope you'e ok.
I think we've all pushed the boat out a little too far on occasions. You're only human, we all cave in sometimes. I'm just glad you're still here.
Your first post made me chuckle when you mention Lorazepam. I agree. It's just like eating a sugar pill. Totally pointless.
Anyway, don't beat yourself up about your exploits. The important thing is you're now safe.
Take care.