There are parts of us that need things that other parts don't, to some degree everyone has this. If you give that part what it needs (to send the email, get reassurance from the T for that part), that's okay. What does your T say about receiving those emails? Have you talked about that part of you and how to give it what it needs so the desires will lessen? Sometimes you can't prevent it because emotions can overwhelm and take control of the logical part of our brains, and they are opposites so they will fight (logic vs. emotion). I'm not sure if any of that made any sense, but I hope it helped in some fashion. If not that's okay too.