Hi, I don't like or want to say that I'm addicted to my diet pills, what I tell myself is I'm not addicted, i just don't want to stop and somehow there's a difference in that... But i think I might be lying to myself...
Eating has always been the way I comfort or cope and lots of things have happened snd i didn't cope very well. the first time i was on diet mixture that i used for about 18 months, i think i was only meant to use it for about 4 months i eventually passed out and went to the doctor, i remember him wanting me to stand on the scale snd i was in tears because i still thought i was fat, i weighed 69 kgs and im approx 5,8 feet tall. Anyway i had to stop taking it and after quite a few years i started putting some weight back on during some extremely stressful times in my life, i got to the heaviest ive been about 20 months ago and knew i had to do something or i wasn't coming back, im too embarrassed to even type the weight, im repulsed by it.
I got help from one of my doctors for a prescription diet pill, ive lost 30kgs since then, but 8 months ago i discovered that i have an hereditary heart condition called Wolff parkinson White syndrome, my other doctor who knows that i have been taking the pills said i need to stop or i can drop dead. I'm still taking them... I have so much still to loose, i can't go back to what i was, I'm seeing a psychologist for a few months now and only recently told him about the pills, i haven't told him the depth of the emotions involved, i still get the pills from my other doctor, he doesn't know what the other doctor said to me, i do feel guilty, that's why i think it is an addiction more than a choice to stop or start, when my heart has been racing or my chest hurting etc i can't tell my gp because then he'll know i haven't stopped. I'm such a fool, i just can go back to that.
My psychologist thinks i should go on antidepressants, i have booking to see a psychiatrist in s few weeks, you can't mix these with antidepressants, i don't know what to do, will she try make me stop, im not a minor.
I know I've got to face this but this can't be me, my life, i'ts not who i am!
Im seeing my psychologist on Friday and im considering telling him the full story, i just don't know what to do, have anyone gone through something similar ? I'm sorry if i got the trigger setup wrong i tried to show it like i thought you said.