I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder (the pdoc's notes shown to me state that she she is thinking between that and bipolar nos-the insurance billing officially states bipolar II..still confused about my own diagnosis..oh well)

Last month my pdoc put me on 100mg of Topamax and 50mg of Seroquel. I was going through a really bad bout of depression. About two weeks ago I was driving on one of those desolate US highways in the High Plains. I was driving to my parents house. I glanced briefly at the hilly horizon. The light hit this certain hill just right. It was so beautiful. I almost cried. The green was spectacular. And to top this moment of clarity, I had some amazing Electronic Chill music playing through Sirius XM. Honestly, that depression lifted right then and there. My heart was filled with..well, I don't know what. The suicidal thoughts went away. The negativity went away. My mind went full throttle with positive ideas. I started to laugh in the car! It was a weird, but pleasant experience.

I got to my parents house. I actually had a business engagement that week. My parents let me stay at their place. So it all worked out. But I was truly happy for a change. (I did have a few hallucinations during this time...I did tell pdoc)

My dad even commented that I was very upbeat. However, he did comment that I was driving him bonkers by walking around the living room CONSTANTLY. He was trying to watch tv. Here I was was pacing the room back and forth. It started to hit me that maybe this happiness wasn't a 'balanced happiness'. I wasn't sure..yet.

Then I was very talkative with my mom. Sometimes I was cutting her off. She kinda smiled. But I could kind of tell that she was annoyed by it.

Then, at night I would get flirtatious with the ladies on the internet. Yes, I know..I know...it was stupid. I have a girlfriend. That brings me to my girlfriend. We're in a long-distance relationship. I'm trying to get her to the states. I told her that I would cover the cost of her transportation expenses getting here. (I also have been making plans to travel to Boston or Philadelphia sometime in the springtime. I love history...)....

Plus, I've been reading like 5 different books at once....mainly history-related.

I've been busy, as you can tell.
(Colors are so damn beautiful now...music means more to me, if this makes sense)

Long story short...

Today I went back to the pdoc...she told me that yes, I was having a manic episode. She said that since I am high functioning and not suicidal, that I could give her input as to what I preferred...up dosage on current meds or stay the same: I wanted her to change. I told her that although I LOVE..LOVE...LOVE the high..I know that its not normal. I also don't want this high to effect my job. So...

she upped the Topamax to 150 mg and kept the Seroquel to 50mg. I will see her again in less than a month. She will then see if we need to change the seroquel. What are your opinions on this? I just read that Seroquel doesn't do much until its dosage is pretty high....

Thanks...