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I think it is a phrase therapists started using to make it appear as though they were doing something and as a way to blame clients for not changing fast enough or in the ways the therapist wanted. I think here it is often used to blame the client too.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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