Yeah sometimes meds have this sort of "flat" effect and for me personally I relate to that "numb" - suck all the depression / mania / hypo - feel nothing effect. Not feeling much of anything kind of makes you feel stuck. You're neither here. Nor there. Just in limbo with your emotions. Turn left or turn right? I like the word "bland" - that's an apt descriptor, reminds me of trying to eat dry cereal flakes with no milk. I'd rather choke. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground at the moment, so I fully get where you're coming from in terms of being with your wife and kid; but somewhere in the middle of it you're piggy in the middle to your emotions.

I think that there would be somewhat energetic and happy bipolars out there ... stability is achievable, without having to compromise on something basic such as how we feel.

What sorts of family activities do you guys get up to?

Do you do anything for yourself that you enjoy doing when you are not depressed?

Are there any activities / clubs you could start socialising with so that you can form connections not only with your family, but with others too?

Is there the possibility that your pdoc would be willing to look at med adjustments for you now that you are not IP or does your pdoc sort of want to keep you "level" for a little while longer in light of the fact that you went IP?