Try and wait until you see T again. I sent my pdoc a letter that actually hurt him, but he still wanted to see me and even grabbed me to talk on first sight when I didn't even have an appointment. (I had also been avoiding him.) This doesn't have to be a bad thing. Maybe it will help your T get on the right track now that he knows. Hang in there. I understand a little bit - I've sent the same kinds of letters and had the same kind of panic. It can still work out.