I was on Librium (like Clonazapam, a benzo) for years, and doctors who knew me would give me a script to get 100 capsules at a time, with refills to boot. Benzos are not all that dangerous for depressed people. I've read that it's actually hard to commit suicide with a benzo. (Not dangerous the way opiates are.) You might try leaning on the doctor you have or the next one you go to for a good supply, at least 90 days worth with refills. Emphasize that you've been using this med consistently for a long time. A regular general practitioner might even work with you better than a pdoc. That was my experience anyway. I used to go for a psych consult once in a blue moon, then get my psych meds subsequently ordered by a GP.

Doctors are really hosing us when they dribble out the prescriptions in small quantities at a time. Tell the docs your situation. I've found that helps. In a way, it's easier to prescribe larger quantities for someone without insurance, since it is the insurance companies that put many of the restrictions on how many pills you can get at a time.

Being open handed with prescriptions is easier for the MD, if you present as reasonably stable and non-suicidal. Sometimes, I've found it expedient to downplay my mental distress when saying I feel real bad is just going to get my doctor alarmed and less willing to prescribe controlled drugs for me.

Having had everything but the kitchen sink thrown at my depression, I've come to the conclusion that the newest, most expensive drugs don't deserve half the hype they get. Seroquel and Lamictal, which are real expensive were much less helpful to me than amitriptyline and Librium, which are cheap as dirt.

Where you fill your scripts means a lot dollarwise. I've learned that Walmart's, Sam's Club and Costco are where to go, unless you want to get into mail ordering. I used to use Walgreen's and I don't anymore. The pharmacists there are ready to take time to talk with you about any concerns, and the stores are cute, but you pay through the nose even for generic drugs. I got an upgraded membership at Sam's club that gave me a discount on prescriptions that was well worth the expense of the upgrade.

Fight that inertia that comes with the blues and makes it so hard to optimize getting the most out of your opportunities. I know it's hard . . . real hard.