Quote:
Originally Posted by JustShakey
I'm not so sure that you should have to be suppressing your natural emotions... This was a big thing with the stbx. I had to stuff down my very appropriate anger and sadness to placate him... A respectful partner will respect your emotions.
Just this week I've been learning (re-learning?) how letting myself feel calms my anxiety. I was such an anxious wreck around the stbx because I wasn't allowed to feel.
I wish I could explain it better. I think it's kind of amazing that I can see this, but I'm still so numb. Feeling is new and strange and I'm afraid of looking silly... *looks around sheepishly*
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Thank you for this. I try to explain this to my h often - that I need him to let me feel my feelings - we didn't get that far this evening, though, because I didn't cry - sometimes, not every time, but sometimes I cry because I am not expressing myself in words - because I'm holding in what I need to say - so I cry instead because it has to come out somehow. But tonight I didn't hold back my words. I spoke them very clearly. And for once, to his credit, he didn't stomp off and go to bed and pout like he has in the past. Maybe he is growing a little bit out of all of this too, come to think of it. Wait...something's coming to me.... A HA!!!! OMG! You know what I did?! By NOT crying, by saying what I said, I basically handed the guilt he tried to put on me right back to him and HE had to sit with his own feelings! That is why he had knots in his stomach. Because I wouldn't take it. Whoa.