It's just- I feel like I undermine myself everytime. I am alone. What is the point in being alive. I feel like I am physically falling apart, I have a hard time breathing and it makes being alive uncomfortable. Things would be easier if I died. This constant suffocating feel emotionally and physically. I AM ALONE AND DYING. I AM DYING. DAMN IT ALL.

My world is so cold and gray, I try to push forward but for what- I don't know. My situation won't change no matter what. I work out and eat healthy and then fate decides to start giving me chest problems and breathing issues so that nothing changes. I can't talk to anyone and my life is still as gray and dim as always. It gets worse everyday.