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Originally Posted by intergalactictraveler
cashhart,
I've written letters to my pdoc of a similar type, though not so strongly worded that she would tell my wife to have me committed for my own safety. But how deeply I understand your despair and hopelessness. For what's it's worth, at least you can take medicine. I'm treatment resistant, so I'm really f****d. I haven't been on for awhile so I don't know your story. Perhaps a hospitalization would be beneficial, though maybe you've been down that route.
Everything that lives is programmed to survive. I'm still dealing with the death, two years ago, of a great friend, also afflicted with severe bipolar, from a heart attack at 59. If I could hear him, he'd tell me to carry on, persevere, balls to the wall and don't take bs from anyone. My dad was of that same character. Right now, I haven't slept much in the past three days and I feel like s**t. My mood is unstable and just a week ago, I seemed to be doing better. That's bipolar.
Yes, you have a husband and children and your mother. I'm married and my wife still doesn't understand my illness and I'm the only one who has my back. I agree with you: It gets tiring and exhausting and you just want to give up. Again, perhaps a few weeks in a good hospital, with no pressures and no stress, along with therapy, can let you catch your second wind. Like a boxer, going to your corner for a minute can give you a boost to get back in the ring. Don't give up. No; life isn't a rose garden, but neither is it a place of perpetual darkness and despair.
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Thank you for your support and wisdom. I am sorry you are treatment resitant. That sucks! In fact, Bipolar sucks! I am afraid I will end up treatment resistent; although, I currently have an (although extremely over prescribing) agressive pdoc. I am also sorry for the loss of you friend. It is hard to lose anyone you know but is much more difficult to process and move past the loss of someone close. Much like your wife, my husband tries to be there for me but does not understand my illness and therefore often presents as mean and callous. He certainly loves me though and he does show it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom
you are worth way more than $200 a week that it would take for your kids to be in daycare while you're inpatient. I really hope that you will do in patients and PHP.you guys can find a way because if you're not there then they would have to find a way anyways. It is unfair that your husband is mad at you but I understand that he doesn't get it.I really hope that this letter pushes them to give you inpatient. I think it's a well written letter and they need to know how you truly feel.
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Thank you for your sweet compliments. I am actually considdering inpatient this time but it has to be my pdoc's idea; my husband and mother will never understand if I make the sudden proclamation that I should be hospitalized. They will fight me and they will deny the severity of my illness (or so I think).
On the other hand, my pdoc's suggestion will validate necessity.