I asked T whether it was unusual that I still have this intensity of feeling towards T1 after 7 months, and he said he thinks it is unusual, and he would have expected to see some movement in that time.
He said it indicated that the issue was in me, not in the relationship, because the feelings are just as strong even in the absence of a relationship.
At that point I realised I don't accept that T and I don't have a relationship anymore. I said to him a relationship doesn't cease to exist just because two people don't see each other for a long time.
He said it might be more useful if we didn't call it 'transference'. I said what else would you call it? He said perhaps 'fantasy' (not sure how I feel about that)