No...you don't understand. i don't KNOW that it is the right track, the wrong trach or any damn track. i get myself in a knot and wound and wound and wound... then i am convinced of a lot of things, tru or not. Add into that the fact that in person i am very articulate, forceful and convincing. But i don't even know what is up or down. Maybe what he was already doing really IS the right thing...????????????????? i launched into this whole tiraid about needing to explore feelings more... and used things like "what about the feelings surrounding X? why aren't we looking at that?" The letter is here on this board somewhere. But in the end the thing i wanted most was to have my feelings HEARD, or to KNOW that they have been heard. And now i think maybe he was giving me more of that that i acknowledged...or could acknowledge. The urgent crisis(es) had to come first. He responded to my fascades. i am so hurt and so confused. i am in an absolute panic and i can't stop. The clonazepam didn't help at all... 4mg. i am afraid he will decide not to treat me anymore.. that i am too volatile. i am afraid he will consider this part of my bipolar and send me to my pdoc for this and it has nothing to do with the BP, i know that as i have had it dx'd for 10yrs now.

i appreciate your reply... but why are there so few responses?