I'm sorry you are having such a terrible time. Sounds like you've been through a lot. Is it possible to find a different therapist that you might could connect with better?

As Living Dead Guy said there are many medication combos that don't cause problems. Maybe trying a different combination might help.

Here is the link to the sticky that Living suggested Things to do instead of hurting yourself and also a link to the Self Injury forum Self Injury

I encourage you to try what ever you can to get through this. You are worth it.

I'm glad you chose to come here. It's a very helpful place to hang out.