It doesn't matter whether it's "normal" or not. The pain is definitely important. I have OCD and a really hard time letting things go. It csuses me so much pain and I hate it but I KNOW being told my pain is a "fantasy" does not help anything. It was literally over a year of daily, constant anguish for me. So you are not alone. I havd been in daily pain with daily tears for 5 months now over how things changed with my most recent one (total change in relationship after 5+ yrs). Maybe it's not "normal" but it doesn't meAn it's not "real."

Are you currently on meds that work well? I firmly believe the one thing that has kept me semi-functional through this was my new pdoc who is brilliant and changed the med I had been on to something that actually WORKS right after this happened. I was so desperate I was considering ECT. For me, this med (Parnate) cut my obsessing/depressive ruminating in half.