Thanks, you reminded me that I can't really know anything about "why". I know I get frustrated when people assume they know why I'm anxious, they're often wrong!

I do the professional voice thing too and while this could be that to a degree I sense strongly it's more than that. I was around this person with another person (friend) many times before we were ever alone and he never had this voice and demeanor with them.

But, I think acknowledging he has a different professional voice is where to start. I can do that without making a big deal of things and gauge his response.

I've lived a life where a lot has gone unsaid and when something is happening and I feel like I can't or shouldn't acknowledge it it makes me feel really nervous and uncomfortable. I'm looking for a way to honor my friends boundaries and respect my own.