Yes, I know, it "is" hard, especially when someone is struggling with PTSD. I have had to work on this challenge myself and "learn" how to better identify others that express toxic behaviors that trigger me and why. I don't necessarily think about it as "changing" myself, but instead "learning" and working on allowing myself to "try" and become more "flexible" instead of expecting another person to pounce on me for not being "perfect" according to what that individual deems "is perfect".

You did not have that skill as a child so you may have believed you were "not good enough" somehow. As an adult you now have a choice to "learn" instead of just absorb these negative behaviors others send your way.

When I get triggered now and experience a cycle, I have learned to be patient with the cycle and see what comes up from it. I have learned to slowly evaluate the trigger and the cycle and talk about it where I think about the trigger and how it affected me, but also how I can work on decreasing the way that trigger affects me. It "is' a lot of work, I have some very deep set triggers I was not really consciously aware of.