Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
I dunno if this has unlocked a lifetime's pain, and I'm mourning more than just this relationship.
I think this^ may be important, and may have been what your current T was trying to get at--though his words were clumsy and unfortunate. Of course you had a relationship! But your relationship with him was probably different (not lesser than, just different from) his relationship with you. Now that you have no interaction, neither relationship can evolve. So, in a way, you are stuck in time emotionally. I think over time your perspective of the relationship will change in some ways. Working through your feelings--especially the aspects that originate within you-- is what will lead you to accept with a sense of peace your feelings and the more objective reality of the relationship equally. I would hope that your T would help you move through this, rather than leap frog over it by dismissing it.
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Thank you, I like the way you put this. You found a way to suggest his feelings for me might be different to how I think they are without making me feel like I'm deluded about the relationship. I do want to find peace with my feelings. Somehow you've managed to simplify it a bit, with regards to working through the aspects that originate in me to help me come to terms with it. I think the way T put it made me feel he was saying the difficulties were my doing, I see now he meant the feelings originate in some part of me and that's where the work is, not that it's just all in my head.