I have had a problem with wanting what I can not have. I want my T to be my mother and to love and care for me the way I never was growing up. After talking to T about it I felt so much better. I understand my T can not and should not fill those voids for me but I can get some of my needs met. She really cares for me, says she has love for me, hugs me at the end of sessions (this is an important part of my healing), and is always there for me. That IS enough. Will she ever be my mom? No. I am accepting that. Maybe its better for her to be my T than my mom. I love the relationship I have with my T so I no longer want something she can not be to me.
In my head, my mother died when I was little. This has helped me grieve for her loss and move on with my life. If I have to see or speak to her, she is my aunt in my head. Nothing more. I don't call her mom or mother anymore either. I have been calling her by her name for years. This might all seem hash but It has really helped me.