I don't think it's unusual if you were seeing this T for a long time, or if like you said, had intense feelings. I do agree with your new T that this wouldn't qualify as a relationship anymore since, as another poster wrote, a relationship consists of an actual interaction between people. I might not call it fantasy, but rather grieving, longing or just that you miss him. I think your new T may be using a harsher term to help you move forward. I can see how it hurts, that would sting me too. But when you see the reality of it, no matter how much it hurts, it may give you a push you need to spend less time in your thoughts and more time in the here and now.