Hey bbTofu It's never a rant. It's expressing how you feel. The good the bad the ugly - we're here to listen to it all

Yeah sometimes I feel like I'm getting crazier too - it usually is a reflection of my mood state - in the past when I've been manic I've felt utterly out of control, almost. So I get the "losing it" part.

Yes - it's a paradox - the very thing that drives you to be well pushes you in the opposite direction of burden, anxiety and negative thoughts. So yes, I do know. This happens to me too. Not nice

Don't surrender.

You've come this far.

Keep moving forward!