Hello Everyone,

I am 27 years old. I have known that there was something wrong with me, that I was not "normal" since I was about 15. I saw a therapist when I was a teenager and he thought I was fine, so I stopped going eventually. When I was 22 I was extremely depressed and saw a new therapist who diagnosed me with chronic anxiety. However, I did not start taking medication for it until 2 years later.

I have been taking medication for anxiety, paroxetine, for 3 years now. It has been a life saver. It turned my life around, completely getting rid of my anxiety and all of its related side affects.

Since being on the medication, other problems have begun to occur with me and my life, and I started going to therapy for marriage counselling. It was successful and I started going to therapy by myself. After my life pretty much falling apart (I lost my job, among many other issues) and my wife figuring out that I lied to my therapist a lot, she went to therapy with me today to make sure I told her the truth about everything that has been going on for the past 9 months of so.

My therapist was so surprised to hear the things my wife told her, and upon listening for about 40 minutes, she said "I am convinced that you are bipolar".

1. Because I lied to the therapist about so many things, and I seemed pretty balanced to her as a result, so she couldn't detect it
2. I am on paroxetine, which kept my anxiety in check

I have mixed feelings about the diagnosis. On one hand, I am SO GRATEFUL to find out that I'm not crazy, that there really is something wrong with me, and something that can be fixed! I had honestly just about given up hope and felt that I'm just stupid, and an idiot, and that all the problems in my life are a result of my stupidity, so I am so thankful to find out that there is an actual reason for it all.

On the other hand, it's kind of scary....Being diagnosed with anxiety some years back wasn't that scary or surprising...I was terribly depressed, and myself and everyone around me were aware of it. Bipolar has such a negative stigma attached to it, that I'm so nervous...starting new medicine treatments horrifies me...I am currently unemployed and trying to get a job. What if the medicine I try has an adverse affect on my and impacts my future job? The idea of having this disorder is just so overwhelming right now. I'd love to hear from other people out there who have gone through, or who are going through, what I am going through now.

Thanks!