Thank you! It did ease up....just to come back. I thought it was gone. Maybe I have issues with forgiving people? I'll put my T hat on now and say I probably can't heal from this because I can't accept my feelings about it. I get pretty hard on myself for having a hard time with this. I haven't said anything until now, but I actually have an appt with another T in her office. (My T owns the place, this guy works for her). We've talked, he's nice (otherwise I wouldn't consider seeing a guy). She suggested, since I've been in such a dark place lately, that I see him for a session while she's gone. She thought seeing someone different might be helpful for me. She even agreed with the idea of talking to him about my issues with her! Ugh...I just don't know if I can. I don't think so. I made the appt, pretty much with the plan in the back of my head to cancel it. I have a week. We'll see how I'm doing come Wednesday. If I'm rough, I'll see him. Like I said, he's a nice guy, and we have done our fair share of small talk. I think, as a person, I'd be comfortable with him.

But when I think about canceling this appointment, the WRONG thought comes into my mind. Disappointing my T. I shouldn't even be thinking about that!!