rr13, I always say the first step towards change in our own lives is recognising what it is that we want to change

And I think that for you, the fact that you have simply just acknowledged that you want to change some aspects, stands you in good stead, albeit that I'm sorry for the circumstances that have created this situation, you didn't deserve to be treated this way at all.

My wish for you is that you begin to feel a sense of inner peace and comfort within yourself, despite what you've unfairly been put through.

Keep posting here in the meantime and let us know how you are traveling, because it does help to speak to others who have overcome and are still overcoming adversities that have unnecessarily been thrown their way.