Hi fellow littles!

I am new to this section of the forum and until recently - never knew it existed! I am very happy to have found this section and look forward to learning and sharing more.

Anyways, I am in DBT currently. I have diagnosis of Borderline PD, Avoidant PD with traits of Dependent PD and potentially complex PTSD.

I have always had an interest in diapers and in being nurtured. I only recently brought this up in therapy and my last session I showed up wearing diapers under my clothes and asked for a blanket. I covered myself up in the blanket and snuggled myself - protecting myself from the world... I have been doing this for years in private, this was the first time I did it in front of someone else... I was showing a side of myself for the first time and to tell you the truth - I enjoyed it despite having trust issues with my therapist... I have admitted that I want someone to hold me and comfort me and tell me that I am safe. I want someone to protect me from the scary world and I want someone to hug me badly... It's a physical pain that I have had for years...

Anyways - my therapist referred to this side of me as a little.

I admitted that I have this subconscious desire to find a mommy and that it comes out in every relationship I make whether I like it or not... Sometimes my voice will change and women will get a weird vibe from me and talk down to me like I am a child... It frustrates me because - (I honestly DO feel like a child in an adults body) - but sometimes I make an effort to be an adult and that is when I most exude the persona of a child... It's really quite strange but it's been like this for years.

Anyways - I like regressing. I like wearing diapers and I like to cuddle blankets and pillows for comfort. I have asked my therapists for hugs and have been denied most times... It hurts because of my attachment issues. I also like being a child and I don't want to grow up... I hate the idea of having responsibilities and I just want to remain small and innocent. My therapist asked for me to do a pros and cons for growing up - and she also asked me to refer to my little as a 3 years old (because I couldn't definitively say what age he was when asked) and she wants me to write out needs, wants and desires of my little... She also said she wants to help me to co-parent the little - and for me to learn how to parent the little in order to have him grow. The idea being that I can learn to let go of using diapers as a way of self-soothing and move onto something more age appropriate like a blanket - then hopefully I can begin to feel less conflicted between wanting independence and not...

I was wondering if you guys and gals believe this sounds like a little inside of me? There is a lot more to this that I am learning - but I know I relate to a lot of what is written about littles.

I consider myself a Diaper Lover / Little, with some Adult Baby desires. I like the idea of being pampered and nurtured by a mommy - something my therapist mentioned and asked if I liked...

Thanks,
HD