your not the only one.

I haven't had friends in years usually this doesn't bother me but then there will come a day I just need to get out and do something with someone. But who? I've pushed everyone away for so long there is nobody left.

I'm BPD though for me it stems from a conflict between fear of abandonment and a need to be loved or at least recognized.

I hope someone else has something to add that can help you.