I have struggled a long time with a wide variety of negative feelings, and recently I've been rather confused by my psyche and my motivation. I am currently employed full time at a toll booth, not particularly tough or engaging work in most respects yet I'm quite happy and content while at work. I go in with a smile and while I leave tired I leave satisfied. When I get home I suddenly lose all energy to do anything. Video games have become a frustrating affair of self loathing as I constantly struggle and fail at challenges I would be capable of doing with my level of effort, I cannot write at all and will literally stare at a blank page of nothing for a few minutes before turning on youtube or going back to the games which I have grown to hate, and I get bored of reading too quickly to actually READ anything. I am angry, bitter, hollow, and just feel so worthless when I'm not at work, yet I'm not motivated to do anything productive either. It's just a cycle of lacking the motivation to be motivated, which in turn makes me unmotivated to be motivated. I do not know how to handle this and while I hate to waste your time I do want to know if anyone else has felt this or has any suggestions. Thank you.