This actually fits with my post about disclosure and "permissions" -- because I find it interesting that you seem to feel as if losing more weight would be punishing your therapist. That fits with what I felt with my last doctor -- as if somehow, when I lost weight, it counted against him. (I suppose it did, since ignoring the fact that I lost almost one third of my already low body weight while he was allegedly treating me -- and without any note of an ED on my chart -- doesn't exactly show him as being outstandingly competent...)

I'm sorry you're having so much trouble with this. Do you mind my asking what sort of a program you're in right now? I'm looking for a more intense program, but don't really have access to any referrals.

Can you see working on your own to get better as a way of punishing him? Thinking more along the lines of, "I'll show him that I don't need him to help me get better! I'll *force* myself not to purge [I think you're a purger? if not, sorry], and I'll make myself healthier -- without his help, and I'll tell him that he didn't have anything to do with it!!!"

I suspect the answer is "no" -- just as it is for me. It's a damned shame it all has to be so hard!