Hi... I think we learn how to live with what happened and not let it control our lives. I feel like everything about my perceptions are messed up because of the abuse I survived.I have to relearn how to feel about myself for one thing.

I think once I got to the point where I understood and accepted that nothing that happened to me was ABOUT me, that it was about my abusers and their sick ways, I was able to work on healing from the pain.

A wise survivor I know once told me that its much like a deep cut...we open it up( ie in therapy).. we watch it bleed, and we let it heal,and it leaves a scar that can and probably will cause pain every now and then. But a scar is a reminder.. not an open wound.

Healing is hard work and its an ongoing process... well worth the work!I'm sorry you were hurt by your mother...I hope you know she must have been in her own sick world and she had to have gotten there somehow..it wasn't your fault.

Sunybear