Quote:
Originally Posted by Walking Man
Don't be hard on yourself because it didn't work out. I don't know if we are better at dealing with things when younger, or if we are just oblivious to the hardship, but living away from home is really stressful. I haven't lived overseas, but in all my moving around in the US, including living on a tall ship for a month (in port), I know it wears me out. One time when I was on the boat I had a dream about my cat and woke up crying. I felt like I was on the "Sloop John B." The way you think about it rationally doesn't seem to matter. You can think, it's just a fun summer in Chile, but the rest of your person may feel like, "Ack! Get me out of here, I need to go home!" It used to be that the only people going to Patagonia or Tierra Del Fuego were intrepid explorers.
A therapist told me that it takes two years on average to mourn a parent. My dad died about five years ago, and there are times I still get upset about it. When you get hit by a bunch of stuff it wears you down. It's normal.
|
You know your post has been extremely helpful...you actually get it. Thank you! In fact, you are bang on, you seriously are. Thank you thank you thank you!
Although this decision has been very draining emotionally, I am starting to feel much better than before. Lots of people take breaks from their graduate studies. It's just that I had been planning this time off for years, however, I also didn't plan that both my grandparents and father would die within months of each other around the time my leave would start.
My body reacted to the stress. I couldn't walk because of a very bad (and sudden) tendinitis in my left ankle, which started the day after my father's funeral. I became completely out of shape, flabby...exhausted. I used to be an athlete. It just seems like it takes so long to get back into shape!
Also, it dawned on me. The man who broke my heart in 2009...well, my supervisor is A LOT like him...which is one of the reasons I have also gone off the handle.
I really need to take the time off to take care of me.
I still have long-term goals like finishing this M.Sc. and eventually getting a great position somewhere, either the Federal government or some large international organization. I also want to maintain my nurturing relationships with my friends and family, that is definitely a positive in my life.
So thanks again.
BTW, I totally get the cat dream and the crying. I too miss my lovely little cats.
