I'm not sure what you mean by asking to see "old T again." Did you part on good terms and invitation to return if you wish? That's so important to feel T's acceptance in general when you have such sensitive feelings at stake. I had this with my T and it was her kindliness and acceptance that helped me open up. Even so, it took a long time. It will happen when it's ready and best not to push it too hard. I wanted so much to talk about it that it tortured me and I kept trying to find a way. I kind of slinked in the topic through the side door by asking T questions somewhat related, or about other people. That way I got some idea of her policy before asking directly. T's often know what you want to say way ahead, but are careful not to get ahead of you.
I hope you can go back and get into this with your T, as it's really important for healing.