After giving it some thought I'm giving up on therapy. I tried 2 therapists after having lost MY therapist I had a really good relationship with to a new job and now with no contact with him I'm just done with the whole concept now because honestly I don't think it's helping and I need an attachment in order for therapy to be at all helpful for me and I'm not feeling any connection even after 4 sessions with either therapist I tried. I don't want to grieve another therapist and honestly I feel that my former therapist was really the only one that could help me if psychology can do anything for me. I give up. I hate that he claims he can't have any contact with me for 2 years so I can't even talk to him. This whole situation hurts and I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of grieving, I'm tired of missing my therapist and I'm tired of trying again with someone else, I'm done I'll just have to make do on my own I guess.