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My T has openly said he would never tell me what to do or to leave. Sometimes i see him as someone to cling to to help me move on, and other times i see him as a threat.

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Are you saying this about your T (since it's in the same paragraph?) Would you like to elaborate?

Is there someone else you can go to for additional advise and support? (Of course, you have PC... and can PM those you wish to share with.)

(((hugs)))