Hooligan,

Thank you for the support. I know I'm on the far end of the bipolar spectrum, out there cruising with starships and Doctor Who, lol. I've said it before; I'm the only one who has my back. Maybe my wife is doing the best she can with what emotional resources she has, but she's never had any desire to learn about my illness and her only fear is that one day I'll kill myself, though I've never tried nor uttered anything to lead her to have that fear. Now do I ever feel like ending it? Sometimes. And I've readily admitted that to my pdoc and therapist, but as effed as my life is, I want to hang around for a long time, even if it is, to quote the Grateful Dead, "a long strange trip." Something amazing might happen, like getting a book published or selling a screenplay, win a lot of money in Vegas, or having an affair with a sensational woman. Or all of it! Or maybe something totally unexpected. Dead is forever and I want to keep it waiting.

@wiretwister/Glad the new machine is working! I might get back to CPAP but consulting a different doctor. Got to keep trying.