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But what about abusive others IRL who freakin follow us around? Who won't let their RAGE and JUDGEMENT (sic) go?

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Isn't that more about you then them? I mean, isn't the reaction you're having under your control (when they're actions are not?) Isn't the reaction you're having about them more about you're concern about them and their actions? Wouldn't it be best to focus on good responses to the emotions they elicit within you, and to manage that?