Hi, sorry things are so over your head! I really don't know what to say. I'm B***** minded and sometimes that gets me up, but why I'm not sure. I really hope you get some help, and SOON. You mention stimulants, the trouble with them is your body gets used to them and once the stimulus wears off anyway, you just crash and end up worse off, I do try and avoid them,
I really feel for you at the moment, and hope you find some was through.