Hi all

I didn't have a chance until now at 5:40 am to give a summary. I do not think it went well w/ my brother.

Before my brother arrived at the airport, he had a major blow out w/ my dad. I talked this over with T before we went to the appointment and he suggested canceling so not to stir anything up with him. I was afraid he would have a melt down and asked for a crisis number in his absence.

I didn't want to cancel and at first I was hurt he suggested that. Then I figured maybe I was putting him in a bad spot since my brother isn't his client and he tried suicide once years ago and has major anger issues. I've told T all about this in sessions. He did say it was up to me and I still wanted to go.

I told T that nothing would happen at the session and it didn't. Why I think this went bad is because my brother said many things that hurt me:

1) He focused on how 'awful' I was growing up and said 'well, I didn't hate my sister, I don't think mom or dad hated my sister'. My T didn't ask if he hated me. I forget what the question was but this answer hit me hard. He never said he wanted to be closer to me like I did at the beginning of the session.

2) Even though my brother is having a rough time with my dad, he defended him all through the session. He always does this. My T was asking him how he thinks I should handle myself with my dad when he is critical? My brother had no answer really. He then said both my parents love me more than life. My T then pushed on and said 'your dad once called your sister and threatened that in a divorce he would testify in court for her husband and not her'.

How should she have responded to this? My brothers answer was 'dad just says things sometimes, he jokes, or he gets mad and doesn't think, he didn't mean that. He then said my sister and my dad are the same person and just butt heads'. T asked him if he thought my dad was just joking and my brother said probably.

Then my brother went on to say how all the men in my life before my current husband were garbage and I should feel lucky that my now husband wants me. He also said that if I can't get along with my husband, I might as well hang it up and never date again. Because he is perfect don't you all know... He's even told my husband that he loves him as a brother.

That's nice, but he's never told me he loves me as his sister...

There was more to this love fest regarding my husband but too much to type. I'm glad my whole family loves him but he and I do have problems. He won't even go to therapy to fix them. He says I am the problem not him.

My family treats my husband way better than me. I am a good wife and mother. That is why I am in therapy to be a better well adjusted mother for my child and not repeat any of these bad cycles. It is working I think.

My T was mad when I told him what my dad said months ago. I am not doing anything that a court would find unacceptable and take my son away. My T told me outright that he believes this too.

This is just more threats and brainwashing by my dad to not leave my husband because HE doesn't want me to. My husband is good for my family but may not be right for me.

My brother was his normal self and was hard on me I feel during the whole session. I could tell my T didn't like what he was saying at all. I can't wait for our next session to get his take on all of this.

I am glad I did it though. T really went out of his way to do this for me. His phone kept ringing and he ignored it during the session. I heard him later after the session say to someone 'I'm leaving now, I'm leaving now'...

I did apologize for keeping him but he said no not at all, he wanted to meet my brother too. I did tell T that I am beyond grateful that he did this for me. I'm sure he had a lot to do before leaving for vacation the next morning.

There is more to all of this but I'm so drained right now. My brother and his girlfriend are here until Sunday.